Tyra Hates Beards!

Sorry this is so late, guys!
--------------------------------------------------------------

Of course, the ONE time I think Megg looks halfway presentable at panel, Tyra goes and boots her ass off the show. Girl finally learned to comb that rat weave and has nothing to show for it. At first I found it odd that she kept Jaeda (who Tyra hates) over Megg, but then I you see her portfolio. Not too impressive. To Megg we say "Grrl. Go. Go and form your two person band. And you rock and roll. You rock and roll so hard that you give Avril a run for her money."

In other news, it appears Melrose and her array of berets (geddit) have replaced Monique as resident bitch. Golly, that was fast. Her victim of choice: Anchal. Poor, "chubby" Anchal. Dude, when did she turn into that chick from college that cries on impact? She stood up to that wildebeest Monique, but the minute Melrose says she does not think Anchal is pretty, she turns into fucking Tammy Faye Baker. Also, way to comfort her, A.J. Why don't you just feel her up next time?

It's also comforting to note that Melrose has decided to emulate Tyra with her useless posing examples. Can you see the difference? No, you stupid, stupid trollop.

In challenge news, Eugena wins again for posing on a platform with some jewelry and some intense Yoko Ono-wannabe telling the girls how hot they look. You would think that A.J. would have won for best poseur. At least the prize is pretty sweet, so when Eugena gets eliminated (and she will), she at least has $32,000 worth of baubles.

Once again, ANTM uses the photo shoot to tell us what the producers really think of these heifers. This week it's a turn of the century (thanks for clarifying which century, Jay) carnivale motif to tell us that Melrose is old, Eugenia likes cages, Anchal is huge, Megg has hair, and the twins are, um, twins. The photos are a mixed bag, with Caridee, Eugenia, A.J, Melrose producing some strong shots. While Brooke (Love her!), Jaeda, and Megg round out the bottom. Seriously, no one could have worked that beard. (Didn't they learn not to fuck with a girl's face when they bedazzled poor Lluvy's a few years back to make her look like a fish?)

No random song out bursts this week, but next week: JANICE FUCKING DICKENSON! Oh, and Michelle might be gay. Might!?!

Listen to our fourth episode





















Heeeey ladies...