Saturday, October 28, 2006

Tyra hates Texans!

Lotsa "celebrities" this week.

This week opens with Eugena trashing talking the other girls and their issues (Bitch, that's our job). Brooke talks about her impending graduation and how she's missing it. Exactly how she graduated despite being on a reality show is a mystery to me. She gets a care package from her mother with a photocopy of her diploma and other assorted grad swag. Gee I wonder if that is going to be an important plot development. Anchal and Cardee bond (which was really sweet and I really liked both of them for much of this episode.) Jaeda still hates her haircut. She feels powerless since they chopped it off. Hmm, just like Samson.

This week, Tyra puts on her photographer's weave and takes black and white pictures of the girls trying to be angry and beautiful at the same time. Imagine Lisa's B&W from a few cycles back, add in Anchal's contact lenses, and multiply it by eight and its basically whatcha get.

The girls learn a lesson on sultriness from some drag queen and Mrs. Marilyn Manson. They have to be sexy with out being slutty in the form of a sultry dance. Brooke, Jaeda, Michelle, and Anchal seem a little reluctant about it. Did Bollywood teach Anchal nothing? All Indians dance when there's a camera on them.

The challenge involves the girls walking on a table for some dinner party hosted by the head of Elite Models. It's dumb, Melrose wins, and gets to be in Seventeen magazines with Brooke and the Twins. But at least we get to see some more of Atoosa.

This week's shoot involves romance novel covers. (Aside: My favorite trashy novel is one I bought at Walgreens called A Very Virile Viking. It involves a Viking, named Magnus Ericcson, who travels forward in time with his nine kids to sex up some Hollywood workaholic who inherits a vineyard. I shit you not). Brooke thinks that they will be posing with someone who is young, sexy, and hot. Instead, they get Fabio: model, actor, I Can't Believe Its Not Butter spokesman. Jaeda gets to be a bawdy tranny (sylvanian.)

Caridee (who is always straddling the counter every time they read Tyra mail) is a bawdy milkmaid. Melrose is a bawdy trollop. Anchal is a bawdy Cleopatra. Jay gets the twins confused and makes Amanda the bawdy lez and Michelle the bawdy baby mama. And the rest get to be bawdy something or others.

At panel, Amanda finally gets accolades from the judges and for the first time gets called before her sister. Melrose and Straddle-dee do well. Anchal and Jaeda take good shots, but still get called out for their esteem issues. Michelle takes a lackluster picture and blathers on that she was uncomfortable being so close to a penis. Tyra punishes her for her excuses and she gets called right before the bottom two: Eugena and Brooke.

Before Tyra stand two beautiful girls. One is a sweet, charming, bubbly ditz who can take strong to okay photos. The other is a temperamental witch with a horrible complexion and soulless eyes who takes an okay to weak photos and does not seem like she wants to be there. Who do you think gets to stay?

Ultimately, Brooke gets shipped to Texas. This was inevitable, but a bit premature in my opinion. Through her tears she says that it was ironic the she gets eliminated on her graduation day. Tyra's lesson du jour: Stay in school, kids. Hey, if she catches a redeye, she might make it to Colt Jensen's totally bitchin' kegger.
Listen to our sixth episode

Simba angry!!

To start off, this episode is a little long, sorry! Amy tried to cut it down but since she's not a professional, it's difficult to cut stuff out without making the episode sound choppy. So once again, tough titties.
Also, to preface the episode, we were a little drunk (ok Amy was drunk everyone else was buzzed) so the speech may be a little slurred...
Thank you to everyone who emailed, commented, frappr mapped, and myspaced us! We love you all!! Here are lots of sloppy kisses and diamonds and teddy bears from us!

Aaron, Amy, Javier, Max, and Scotty


  • you guys are awesome!! keep up the great work :)

    By Anonymous jennie, at 10:58 PM  

  • vajenga!
    loved the cast.

    By Anonymous wolfenstein, at 4:50 PM  

  • You guys! I cannot wait to hear the new podcast but I'm still at work, which has been making me so grumpy all day until I read "Simba Angry!" just now.

    By Blogger evicious, at 5:25 PM  

  • Masculinda needs to get over the hair thing soon. It's not coming back tomorrow, honey. Don't make me kick you in the tits.

    Eugena needs to spontaneously combust. Soon.

    By Blogger deb, at 2:08 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home