Tyra hates Impersonators, Lipstick Lesbians, Blacula, Rock n' Roll, HPV, and Texans (Redux)

Perhaps the new writers Tyra and Co. used to replace the striking writers are, themselves, on strike this week because we are "treated" to a clip episode. If you have been following along (and you hate to admit that you do), you pretty much know what's been going on.

The real stars of this episode are Monique and her disorder. We are treated to never-before-seen instances featuring Monique earning the title "Crazy-ass bitch." It's actually freaky how pathologically calm she appears thoughout much of this episode. When she discovers that one of the twins ate all her Doritos, she decided to destroy everyone else's chips in retaliation. Umm, yeah. This leads to a shouting match between her and Amanda. Silver lining: Straightwin looks freakin' hot when she's pissed. The second is more footage of Melrose/Monique spat. We are treated to Monique repeating everything Melrose says while both of them try to cook in the kitchen. Bitch, most people can't stand when Melrose speaks the first time. Silver lining: "Is this my taco seasoning?"

Speaking of Melrose, much of the episode is devoted to her winning almost every competition and generally being a nuisance to everyone else. Part of it might be jealousy and part of it can be that Melrose is an annoying know-it-all. Surprisingly, Anchal and Megg are the two who call her out on it. To which, Melrose responds with the standard "I treat people the way they treat me" blather that no one really buys. I'm surprised that she didn't follow it with "I'm not here to make friends" and "It's not American's Next Top Best Friend."

The other memorable scene happens in the beginning when the girls are forced to buy new clothes to replace their ugly ones. How those two queens let all those ugly ass berets escape incineration is a mystery to me. Melrose kinda wins this one again, since most of her clothes were spared. After ripping off the What Not to Wear trash can, the girls have to scramble to buy the essentials: black dress, mini skirt, giant purse, etc, in five minutes.

Oh, and Megg likes bongggos.

We go through each photo shoot, each challenge, blah, blah, blah, seven girls remain, but only one will get to be America's Next Top Modezzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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