Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Tyra Hates the Dykey One

We pick things back up in Spain. The girls are looking for some fun in Barcelona, so they decide to call the only English speaking model to bring some friends over to wine and dine the ladies. In an act of international rudeness, homeboy does not bring a chica for Michelle. Ah well, as she has mentioned eighty times before, she is not too sure of what she is. Apparently, Caridee knows what she wants and makes out with some dude in spite of having a boyfriend. Anyone looking for a repeat of Shandi and boyfriend like meltdown from cycle 2 is sorely disappointed. Either she is in an open relationship, just doesn't give a shit, or we end this scene with her saying goodnight to her Spanish paramour.

Tyra puts on her motivational speaker weave and decides to give the remaining girls a pep talk. She tells the girls that ANTM is a learning experience and hopes that these girls make big. Look how successful Adrienne, Yoanna, Eva, Naima Nicole, and Dani(elle) are; they are setting the model/actress world on fire. Tyra assures the girls that she sacrifice herself for these girls. Hmmm, just ask (the never ever mentioned on ANTM again) Adrienne Knight Brady how that worked out.

It's Go See Week! Last cycle set the bar pretty high by combining gift giving, giant animal heads, traffic jams, rickshaws, and culminating with every model being disqualified. This year the girls are given maps and sent on their ways. The twins pair off, as do Caridee and Eugena. This leaves Melrose all by her lonesome which she is perfectly fine with. (Dear Melrose: Sweetie, it's not considered a strategy if no one wants to play with you.) The twins get lost almost immediately and are ultimately disqualified. Eugena and Caridee seem to do well. It is Melrose who manages to go see the most designers and wins the challenge. Her prize is totally lame. A homemade dinner does not compare to the racks of clothing that are usually offered.

All week I have been anticipating the alleged spat between Caridee and Nigel at this week's photo shoot. The girls are going to be shot as matadors in an authentic bull ring, with a live bull and a pole. While standing around, Caridee sarcastically asks Nigel if he pulled the pole out of his ass from the last panel. Nigel gets pissed. The girls (and the viewers) are forced to endure a lecture from Mr. Jay (who looks ridiculous in his baby blue matador's outfit)

Fortunately (or unfortunately), no one gets gored this week. Eugena breaks out some awesome poses. Melrose kind of disappoints Mr. Jay. Amanda cannot pose. Michelle does fine despite not knowing what to do. Caridee apologizes to Nigel and proceeds to whip out some stripper poses.

A horned Tyra transitions us to panel. This weeks panel challenge is the evil "What Do You Think of the Other Models?" The girls have to judge who has the most and least potential. For most potential, all non-twins pick themselves. Amanda picks Eugena and Michelle picks Caridee. As for the worst, Melrose picks Eugena, Caridee and Eugena pick Amanda, Amanda picks Caridee, and Michelle kinda fingers herself ( i.e. the ANTM version of shooting one's self in the foot)

I actually liked all of the shots this week. Even the "worst" shot (which I think is Melrose's Vargas drag queen photo) is better than most of the shots this cycle. The judges especially love Eugena's pose and face. The judges are not too keen on Caridee's shot, which I actually liked though they did set her make-up gun on "whore."

This week's bottom two are the twins. This sucks for them because both of their shots were pretty good. As if we haven't heard this enough all season, but they are different despite being twins. Amanda has the passion but struggles to take decent shots. Michelle is a natural at modeling but does not have the drive of her sister. As usual, Tyra selects the model who actually wants to be there. Michelle is sent home. Both her and Aaron will be relieved. She hopes Amanda does better without the distraction of her confused ambiguous sister. When I first saw the promotional shot of this cycle, I was wary of the gimmick of casting the twins. However, Amanda and Michelle have been two of the sanest and likable competitors that this show has had in a while. Michelle has one of the better portfolios this cycle (except for that puking thing.) Will this translate to a victory for straightwin?

Next week: Melrose meltdown! And Caridee does her impression of Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic. Hypothermia is so "in" this season.

Listen to out tenth episode
Sorry this episode is so long. We just got off tangents since the mos and the A's haven't see each other for two whole weeks!

As promised, Eugena and Neyo:

(Thanks to fourfour for the images!)

Michelle's buns - they act as flippers:

The scary Peter Pan guy we mention in this episode who reminds Scotty of Mr. Jay in his matador outfit.

Last but not least, make sure to check out Snapstream's Beyond TV, our better-than-tivo product!


  • Dude, whats up with all the accents.

    Also, take a drink everytime Aaron says the work "kick"

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:20 PM  

  • It's funny about this episode about how much Tyra is against being too "pagent" like, and then gives them a very pagent question by asking them who they like and who they hate. They should have done a go-see related challenge.

    By Anonymous Adam, at 11:58 AM  

  • I loved all the tangents. very funny! I'm very bad with directions too so I can relate to the twins.

    From that picture, Eugena does look like Ne-Yo. So similar. heh can't believe I did't see that before.

    By Anonymous Janice, at 12:08 PM  

  • "i hated mrs fuckin jay he looks fuck all like eugena
    i think he should just get over the fact that hes a man
    or at least have the balls to have sex change
    he's just buttfucking lazy"
    could u mention that on ur next podcast
    love mandy

    By Anonymous mandy loves antm, at 12:17 PM  

  • also he does not even compare with th goddess that is
    janice fuckin dickinson

    ps. dont u think janices sons hot
    check out his myspace page

    By Anonymous mandy loves antm, at 12:21 PM  

  • I officially hate Tyra because she makes up the most ridiculous challenges and her horned pictures (and her new pool pic in the new ep) look horrible! I think I am coming down with a cold but reading "the 'mos and the A's haven't seen each other for two whole weeks!" made me laugh and cheered me up -- aaah. Fuzzy feelings.

    By Blogger evicious, at 4:39 PM  

  • omg i totally went and checked out that peter pan thing...so scary. Then i started laughing so soo much and almost peed(sp?) myself. i totally should have wiped it on someone bed...haha priceless
    ~Jalesa(pronounced Jalisa)
    i would totally feel famous!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:29 PM  

  • Ohmigod, y'all, did you guys notice that when Caridee was showing Eugena how smooth her armpits are, Eugena totally dipped her finger in her armpits in the same fashion as she did when she was testing out if Monique really peed on her bed? Good times, good times. MEEEEMMMORIEEEES....

    Ok no more Cats, the musical.

    By Blogger America's Next Top Podcast, at 7:05 PM  

  • Thank you ANTPodcast for exposing me to Leslie and The Lys. I originally found this site in probably like the 8th page of Google search because of my growing obsession with ANTM(seriously, why kill my monthly limit with 100 Mb+ downloads of freestyle bitching over a reality show?! yet I can't stop doing it...). But the reward has been great because of the brilliance that is Leslie. I had originally associated the term "gold pants" with Kylie Minogue's booty-shaking in her short, short, gold shorts in the "Spinning Around" music vid but the image of Leslie in gem sweater and tight gold pants is far, far sexier. Thank you Leslie for bringing back 80s rap-stylings! And thank you ANTPodcast for showing this Australian chick who normally doesn't give a flying fig over American TV that she too, can be America's. Next. Top. Fanatic.

    By Anonymous aussie, at 11:42 AM  

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