Tyra hates the Hindu Goddess of Self Fulfilling Prophecies

This action packed episode is full of, well, action. The girls return home after the aftermath of Brooke's departure, which of course is the indicative of how sweet that girl truly was. I miss her already. Based on my psychic powers of deduction, I can tell that Michelle and Anchal are going to be in the bottom two before the first commercial break. I am not too sure what's more annoying: Anchal's constant bitching about her weight or Melrose bitching about Anchal's bitching about her weight. Actually, its not that hard, since anything Melrose does is more annoying than Eugena, Anchal, Jaeda, Jade, Megg, Bre, A.J., Lisa, Gina, and Jayla all performing an a capella version of Vitamin C's Graduation Song.

This week's first celebrity guest is Gabrielle Reece, whom both Jaeda and Michelle instantly get hard-on's for (but for different reasons.) She instructs the girls on how to take good pictures while in motion. Anchal seems pretty lackadaisical about the entire thing (foreshadowing.) Caridee throws herself right into it, quite literally (more foreshadowing.)

This week's first challenge is about more action and you can't have action without NASCAR. The scenario is that some race car driver wants his model girlfriend to give up modeling and in an impassioned rage the model girlfriend rushes the boyfriend and impales him with a heel or checkered flag or one of the twins' clavicles. Once again, Anchal does a half ass job (insert your own inertia joke here.) Michelle wins this one and gets to pick three girls to share her prize. Being the closet racist that she is, Michelle selects Caridee, Amanda, and Melrose while Jaeda, Eugena and Anchal are left prizeless. Soon Michelle gets to eat crow (not A.J) because her victory come with a twist. The "winners" get a shopping spree challenge and the girl who gets the most crap actually gets to keep everything the other girls nabbed as well. Melrose wins this one, again. Instead of actually being gracious and sharing the spoils of her inexplicable good fortune, Melrose keeps it to herself and just gloats that all the other girls must hate her. What an ass.

This week's photo shoot involves the girls going to a skydiving training facility to pimp Cover Girl's latest make-up. The girls will be photoshopped onto a NASA wallpaper to simulate astronauts reaching out for the perfect makeup, or something. The results end up looking like fierce cover of an Orson Scott Card novel (or for the less nerdy, your eight grade science book cover.) This week's photos are a very mixed bag. Caridee, Melrose, Amanda, and Anchal take decent shots. Jaeda, Eugena, and Amanda's shots pretty much suck. You would think that would be enough to get rid of Jaeda or Eugena, but wait, there's more…

(Sorry Javi, I had to insert this series of Jaeda looking like a chipmonk. It was too heesterico to pass up.)




























































At panel, Tyra gives us a grammar lesson and makes the girls act out a combination of a verb and an adverb. No matter what words come out, they all equal "gesticulate assily." Caridee and Melrose go balls to the wall with hiding and boxing, each with hilarious results. Anchal and Michelle get pretty self-conscious and don't really do much. As a result, they are this week's bottom two. After much pontification, Tyra pulls Michelle's picture and sends Anchal on her way. Despite Anchal's declaration of having no friends, Caridee seems pretty upset to see her go. Upon her exit, Anchal awesomely tells Melrose "I still hate you" and then less awesomely follows with "I'm kidding, you're awesome."

She thanks Tyra for the opportunity and rationalizes that it was her self-doubt that did her in. Personally, I find Anchal pretty likable, maybe even classy, in her final. She is so much prettier when she's not complaining about her friendlessness, or her weight, or her looks. Tyra was right to tell her that if she doesn't think she is beautiful, the judges won't either. In Tyraland, skinny, delusional she-beasts who want "it" always win out over voluptuous victims of self-consciousness.

Next week: The promos cut off before we learn where this cycle's excursion is. But because Trya runs out looking like an extra from Zorro, we can guess that it's either Mexico or Spain. My dinero is on Spain.

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