Sunday, November 12, 2006

Tyra hates the Hindu Goddess of Self Fulfilling Prophecies

This action packed episode is full of, well, action. The girls return home after the aftermath of Brooke's departure, which of course is the indicative of how sweet that girl truly was. I miss her already. Based on my psychic powers of deduction, I can tell that Michelle and Anchal are going to be in the bottom two before the first commercial break. I am not too sure what's more annoying: Anchal's constant bitching about her weight or Melrose bitching about Anchal's bitching about her weight. Actually, its not that hard, since anything Melrose does is more annoying than Eugena, Anchal, Jaeda, Jade, Megg, Bre, A.J., Lisa, Gina, and Jayla all performing an a capella version of Vitamin C's Graduation Song.

This week's first celebrity guest is Gabrielle Reece, whom both Jaeda and Michelle instantly get hard-on's for (but for different reasons.) She instructs the girls on how to take good pictures while in motion. Anchal seems pretty lackadaisical about the entire thing (foreshadowing.) Caridee throws herself right into it, quite literally (more foreshadowing.)

This week's first challenge is about more action and you can't have action without NASCAR. The scenario is that some race car driver wants his model girlfriend to give up modeling and in an impassioned rage the model girlfriend rushes the boyfriend and impales him with a heel or checkered flag or one of the twins' clavicles. Once again, Anchal does a half ass job (insert your own inertia joke here.) Michelle wins this one and gets to pick three girls to share her prize. Being the closet racist that she is, Michelle selects Caridee, Amanda, and Melrose while Jaeda, Eugena and Anchal are left prizeless. Soon Michelle gets to eat crow (not A.J) because her victory come with a twist. The "winners" get a shopping spree challenge and the girl who gets the most crap actually gets to keep everything the other girls nabbed as well. Melrose wins this one, again. Instead of actually being gracious and sharing the spoils of her inexplicable good fortune, Melrose keeps it to herself and just gloats that all the other girls must hate her. What an ass.

This week's photo shoot involves the girls going to a skydiving training facility to pimp Cover Girl's latest make-up. The girls will be photoshopped onto a NASA wallpaper to simulate astronauts reaching out for the perfect makeup, or something. The results end up looking like fierce cover of an Orson Scott Card novel (or for the less nerdy, your eight grade science book cover.) This week's photos are a very mixed bag. Caridee, Melrose, Amanda, and Anchal take decent shots. Jaeda, Eugena, and Amanda's shots pretty much suck. You would think that would be enough to get rid of Jaeda or Eugena, but wait, there's moreā€¦

(Sorry Javi, I had to insert this series of Jaeda looking like a chipmonk. It was too heesterico to pass up.)

At panel, Tyra gives us a grammar lesson and makes the girls act out a combination of a verb and an adverb. No matter what words come out, they all equal "gesticulate assily." Caridee and Melrose go balls to the wall with hiding and boxing, each with hilarious results. Anchal and Michelle get pretty self-conscious and don't really do much. As a result, they are this week's bottom two. After much pontification, Tyra pulls Michelle's picture and sends Anchal on her way. Despite Anchal's declaration of having no friends, Caridee seems pretty upset to see her go. Upon her exit, Anchal awesomely tells Melrose "I still hate you" and then less awesomely follows with "I'm kidding, you're awesome."

She thanks Tyra for the opportunity and rationalizes that it was her self-doubt that did her in. Personally, I find Anchal pretty likable, maybe even classy, in her final. She is so much prettier when she's not complaining about her friendlessness, or her weight, or her looks. Tyra was right to tell her that if she doesn't think she is beautiful, the judges won't either. In Tyraland, skinny, delusional she-beasts who want "it" always win out over voluptuous victims of self-consciousness.

Next week: The promos cut off before we learn where this cycle's excursion is. But because Trya runs out looking like an extra from Zorro, we can guess that it's either Mexico or Spain. My dinero is on Spain.

Listen to our eighth episode

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  • I was hoping that you'd catch some of the crazy-ass shots of Jaeda in the wind tunnel! Her face was about to come off, it looks like.
    Can't wait to hear the new podcast!

    By Blogger evicious, at 12:06 PM  


    If you go to Wikipedia, and look up America's Next Top Model, it tells you where the models are going on their "Trip" next week.

    I agree with Aaron though, that it is definitely a hit or miss with the episodes. Last weeks episode was awesome but my husband and I thought the challenges have been lacking. I mean NASCAR?? WTF!!! This is supposed to be high fashion competition not a weekend at the pig farm (sorry Anchal!).

    By Anonymous Beka, at 2:25 PM  

  • No, no, have it wrong. Anchal says "I still hate you Melrose" and Melrose awesomely says "I hate you too....just kidding, you're awesome" Melrose gets a lot of flack, but I still think she is a nicer/more mature person overall. The other girls are just jealous of her. Thank god Anchal is finally gone... BTW. I love your podcast.. i practically spit out water while listening to you at work.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:56 PM  

  • Masculinda the Chipmunk. Oh how we love you.
    I agree the nascar challenge was retarded. I think tyra is running out of ideas.
    Thanks for the correction on the "i hate you" comment between Melstank and Anchal. Good to know!
    Don't forget we have a new chatter box on the sidebar now so we can all talk to each other whenever we want! yay!

    By Blogger America's Next Top Podcast, at 3:51 PM  

  • Did anyone notice that, after the ladies got their NASCAR photoshoot instructions, Melrose was totally kissing the photographer's ass and walking to the trailer with him?

    By Blogger deb, at 5:08 PM  

  • WHAT?! I totally missed that! Now i'll have to go back and watch it again!

    By Blogger America's Next Top Podcast, at 12:40 AM  

  • I wonder how much damage Michelle did to the car. It looked like she punctured it more than just dented it.

    The more hilarious moment was when Melrose did her box thing. I imagine the challenge lasted for quite some time so within however many minutes she didn't think of actual boxing until after? Weird...

    By Anonymous Janice, at 10:11 PM  

  • ohmigod. I think melrose vogue-ing might have even been better than Caridee's hiding dizzily. That was freaking hilarious!!
    Can't wait for the international trip episode!! I was looking forward to finding out where they were going but stupid Ty Ty totally let the cat out of the bag first by her costume then by her commercials by writing the country in HUGE LETTERS across the screen. Thanks, Tyra.

    By Blogger America's Next Top Podcast, at 12:04 AM  

  • haha..where are they going? I guess I wasn't paying attention or I have no memory of it whatsoever.

    By Anonymous Janice, at 9:12 AM  

  • I think this was the funniest podcast I have ever listened to. The ninety year old vajinga, hilarious. The scrotum/balloon/lab glove, I have never laughed so hard. :D

    Oh, the show was good too!

    By Blogger Rachael, at 9:27 AM  

  • YAAY!
    Janice, Caridee was crying on stage b/c they were playing that game "dump" where you tell your true feelings and she was saying that she wants this so much that she tried to kill herself a couple of times. Or something. Ok I don't actually know what the heck she said, she was freaking crazy up there!!

    Rachael, thanks for the compliments!!


    By Blogger America's Next Top Podcast, at 10:57 AM  

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