Tyra hates Taxicab Tantrums

And we're back. Previously, everyone else was eliminated, Dionne went all ape shit on Renee and Natasha tried on some black face. This week, we find the girls back from Jael's elimination. She has left the girls letters (probably scrawled in crayon). To Brit, she mentions something that she would have gladly been eliminated to allow Brit-brit to stay. Awww, that’s really sweet. Even someone with Jael's awesome intellect can tell within the first 30 seconds that Brittany is either 1) Be over dramatic, annoy everyone but totally rock the photo shoot or 2) Be over dramatic, annoy everyone and get her ass booted. This week, it’s a little bit of both.

Dionne, who herself is not having the best of weeks, calls Brit on her memory bullshit recalling that Brit was able to remember all her lines for the Pedro challenge. Everyone is sick and tired of Brit blaming all of her problems on thing such as car accidents, horrible weaves, evil ducks, and as we'll soon discover, a vast web of taxi drivers who have it against her.

This week is the Go See episode, where the models pimp themselves out to prospective clients and see how they can manage in the real world. This is also a time challenge and those who do not make it back will be disqualified. Every year, this happens to one person and I wonder who it's going to happen to this year. (Remember Thailand where no one made it back on time. Those were the days.) Based on the "loser" theme that plays, its obvious that Brittany is not going to make it back on time. It wouldn't have mattered because she pretty much sucked at all of her go sees with her horrible walk and her non-personality. Didn't she remember that she won the high school runway challenge. Oh wait, she didn't. Renee decided to pander to a recent mother and slips in some pics of her weird looking offspring. Jaslene seems to impress the designers. Dionne thinks "Go See" is Aussie slang for "free shit." I am not sure how Natasha did, because she was also late and eliminated. Even though she was a little cross, she was a class act compared to the meltdown that Brit had when she didn't make it on time. Basically, Brit was that one girl who every cycle thinks that she can squeeze one last go see in and she tells her driver that she is going somewhere. Since her cab drive wasn't bulimic, i.e. able to read minds, he just stays put. This, of course makes her late, and she proceeds to have a HISSY FIT outside the modeling agency. Natasha (who is kinda awesome in this episode) tries to console her and Brit puts ALL the blame on the cab driver. It was at this point where that bitch is dead to me. She is so loud and obnoxious, that she even interrupts the model-lady announce that Jaslene is the challenge winner. The prize is a photo shoot with Nigel. Woo hoo!

You know how Tyra is always stressing the difference between men's magazines and women's magazines. (Hunch back = women, straight back = men. Legs together = Vogue, Legs apart = Maxim). This week, she decided to make a photo shoot around it. The girls will take two photos this week. The first will be soft and ethereal bikini shots shot by Tyra herself. Never mind the girls are half naked and with paired with a hunky male model. The second is a glossy, whored-up version shot, with a bikini and a hunky male model. No one does spectacularly bad this week. Jaslene takes a while to finally get going. Natasha gets excited as usual. Dionne needs to be told what to do. Renee and Brit are also there, but I forgot how they did. Renee does look pretty good with the weave though.

I don't know if this will amount to anything, but before panel, Jaslene interviews that she wants Renee gone since she is only interested in modeling because of the money.

This week’s guest judge is model-lady. Most of the girls take good shots. Dionne's are pretty "meh" and she is struggling with her facial poses. When prompted to whip out three different poses, she goes all mean, mean, and hood. Natasha's pouty face finally becomes an advantage, but she needs to be more versatile. Renee is lauded for something called a "toot push" but is in danger of being "too commercial." Jaslene really connects with the camera and has her first strong showing in weeks. Brit takes some really great shots, but is also a hysterical mess and to make matters worse, none of the designers would have booked her at Go Sees. Twiggy condescendingly asks her is she was a wreck in front of the designers. (Which was awesome!)

After a little math lesson from Tyra, Dionne and Brit are the bottom two. Dionne gets another opportunity to mooch some freebies on some poor unsuspecting designer. And Brit is sent back. Hopefully, she won't remember that she was eliminated and shows up to the next photo shoot, only to be rejected once again.

Next week: Natasha gets the sniffles and we learn how Renee gets her bitch back.

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