Monday, July 16, 2007

Canada's Next Top Model, Season Two, Episode Four

Stay tuned for Stephanie's recap!

The whole opening house scene boils down to Tia and how she annoys the other girls. Not because she's a twat like Tara, but because she's a wingnut like Jael. Witness her clomp-clomping around, stealing other girl's shoes and yelling, "Rebecca, where the hell did Jesus die?" Clueless.

Jay-Mail tells the girls to "Be the genie", a reference to Jeanne Beker. Oh, the irony! JB is going to teach the girls interviewing skills! And Tonya Harding will teach etiquette, while we're on it. If you read my previous comments you're well aware how I feel about JB's (in)ability to lead a quality interview. Tara gets a few points in my books because she actually drifted off to zzz-land during the "lessons" (to use the word loosely) but her lack of mental attendance is only noticed by the other girls. At the end of the day Tia gets called out by JB for browsing a book they were given, instead of hanging on her every word. JB diagnoses her with attention deficit disorder (ADD), not dyslexia.

Next the girls are introduced to Gina Pugliese, host of "Star Daily", the poor-man's "Entertainment Tonight". They are told they will mock-interview a big celebrity with a list of required questions. The celebrity turns out to be Adamo Ruggiero, who is apparently "known to viewers around the world" as Marco on "wildly successful Degrassi – The Next Generation". Wha…?

The worst performers were Tara, who once again read like a robot, and Rebecca, who brought out the crickets. Tia predicts she will perform like "a bag of douche", but she was merely a mediocre douchette; Gina gives an unremarkable go at it. Cori is openly broken hearted because she found him rude, whereas he apparently comes across as a sweetheart on the show. The best were Sinead "The Tractor", dubbed for her perseverance, and über-determined Mo. Mo gets kudos all round at the time but Sinead is credited with the win, receiving a televised interview and a flat-screen TV. I can't wait for the episode when Sinead gets sent home, and she has to balance her massive TV on top of her luggage as she exits the house. Her televised big break is to interview the designers from Comrags, as part of the 2007 Toronto Fashion Week, and she doesn't suck.

This week's glamour photo shoot takes place at an airplane hanger with photographer Mike Rosenthal, a 2008 CTS Cadillac, a helicopter, and liberal product placements of Pantene and Olay products. Gina produces more mediocrity, as does Tia. Nolé feels Mo is channeling Naomi Campbell and loves it, whereas Sinead is channeling a coma. Nolé also loves Tara, but feels Rebecca over thinks, and starts Cori off on her regular shower of model tear droplets.

Back at the house things quickly break down into perceived insults and hissy fits, It turns into a big "She said, she said" brouhaha, but then MEN show up and everyone is happy again! The hockey team from last episode comes over for drinks and the opportunity to take their shirts off for the camera. Can you say "pale"? Critical mass is attained: more clothes come off, men prance in high heels, everyone crams into the rather small hot tub. Tia reveals herself to be a woo-hoo girl: she yammers something about drinking your own pee, wrestles men to the ground, fakes standing-up-peeing in the bushes, photographs genitalia. The big scandal, however, is that Rebecca kisses a guy, and she has a boyfriend at home. Gasp!

At judging, Jeanne Beker is having conversations with the photos that no one can hear except her. Rebecca, she feels, nails it, because her photo "tells a story" to Miss Beker, but Gina's photo doesn't "speak" at all. Tara's photo is not telling anything interesting to JB, although all the other judges must have heard it because they loved it. Cori cries model tear droplets, again, and I should say I might have too, with Jay, JB and Nolé (via notes) saying you suck, you suck, you suck. Sinead was adequate, while Tia was said to have a bad photo and good attitude. Mo stuns the judges with her photo, apparently because the was touching the bling in the right way. Mo is called up first, followed by Rebecca, Tara, Sinead, Tia. I'm glad Tia is staying because she entertains me like no one else on the show can – not because she has any particular modeling ability. The last two girls are Gina and Cori. Gina may be too commercial, while Cori doubts herself too much Cori, of course, turns on the waterworks. Jay tells her no more tears, but what he should have said was "Stop your fricking crying,girl, or I'll give you something to cry about." Gina goes home.

Next week: The girls learn to work the pole.


  • hi guys,

    toward the end of your last episode i could hear this humming sound in the background & it was fuckin annoying. it sounded like someone vacuuming in the distance. The entire time i kept thinking "why the fuck are they vacuuming now? can't they wait till afterwards?"

    when the episode ended i realised it was my hard disk whirring away. (i was wearing headphones)

    u know that humming sound computers make? yeh well it was that.

    true story.

    u guys rock,

    By Blogger ademure, at 7:33 AM  

  • hey please keep posting canada's next top model. i love it!

    btw amy, i love listening to you guys soo much i downloaded last seasons episodes! i've listened to both seasons like 3 times each. i work at a stable and i listen to you guys while i muck stalls. i listen to you guys everyday! i think i'm your number one fan.
    you all are HILARIOUS!!!
    lov ya

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:33 PM  

  • Hi y'all,
    Good story ademure ;)
    Wow we have someone who works in a barn! That is really cool. I'm not sure why. Glad to have you as our number one fan!

    By Blogger America's Next Top Podcast, at 5:00 PM  

  • Great review of the episode!

    By Anonymous GED, at 11:08 AM  

  • This was a great season!

    By Anonymous Elliott Broidy, at 1:01 PM  

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